All I Cannot Tell You

I wish I could tell you how I feel.
But I can't.
Isn't that how feelings are supposed to be?
Without words?
Feelings are like circles. The circumference suggesting that which cannot truly be seen.
This is how I am, how I have been. Unseen.
Feelings are quicksand
and the struggle inside our minds
only makes us sink deeper
and lose ourselves within what we fear
and wish to avoid.
I wish I could tell you how it feels to grow up, have choices to make, making decisions, watching outcomes turn inside out, becoming us and changing again.
But I can't.
Each and everyone is trapped inside their own lives
That is our liberation
Our commonality.
I wish I could say all the things I think and dream that do not hurt but build beauty.
All the things that are precious to me and that I am unafraid to share.
I wish I could tell you how time brings so much and seems to take more than we can handle.
Sometimes.
But not always.
It's hard for me to say the things I want because everything escapes language.
Sometimes this is the only truth I know.
Sometimes I lose myself in awareness.
When that happens, what remains?
I try not be scared of my fear
and I try to trust my body to guide me
I loved to dream
and I dreamt of love
Now in dreaming or in loving I am unfulfilled.
I am an horizon without a landscape to support it
I am light that never reaches the eye
A sound taken by the wind
A shape never truly formed
I am the dream of something impossible waiting to happen